Managing Expectations

Expectations and how we manage them is an interesting subject. I have to admit I used to worry more than was necessary and tried to create desired outcomes for myself and others I was close to. As time passed I realized several theories I had heard were very true and they helped me as a homeschooling mother and person. The first documented theory is that 80% of what we worry about never happens and only 8% of the remaining concerns are something we have any control over. The second theory, which I heard from the well known homeschooler Naomi Aldort, is that a lot of what we react to in other people is a result of a deep seated dislike or fear within ourselves often going back to our childhoods.

As a homeschooling mother, I know how easy it is to have doubts and fears when you first start to homeschool. The luxury I have of looking back on my years homeschooling with my four children makes this seem like such a waste of energy. My children are happy ,well adjusted and confident people participating in society as productive people. Homeschooling created these young people by first helping them to have self confidence, make good decisions and manage their expectations in life. My goal is to help homeschooling parents understand that the burden for their children’s education is not solely on them but is a partnership with their children, who will take great joy in being responsible as they grow and gain confidence. Worrying that your child will not learn and gain needed knowledge falls into the 80% group of concerns.

Ms. Aldort taught me to question my desire to manage the outcomes of others based on my personal fears and experience. Her suggestion that helped me the most was to stop and question myself when I became angry or disappointed in what my children were doing as homeschoolers. How eye opening this was for me to realize that quite often my feelings were based on something I did not like or had feared going back to my own childhood. Once I came to terms with this and learned to stop and question my feelings and motivations then I grew as a person. This helped me to not manage my children’s expectations and allowed me to help them attain their goals and desired outcomes. Self-study and investigation is an ongoing process in life and frees us to grow and make room for the wonderful experiences life has to offer.

“You become what you think about.” stated by these great minds; Aristotle, Neville Goddard and Napoleon Hill

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